It’s been a little while since I’ve updated everyone on Zane’s summer, other than the bug incidents, so here it goes.  Zane has become particularly anxious this summer.  I really don’t know why.  It may just be a side effect from the medication he started about 3 months ago.  The littlest things set him off and he’ll go into a full on meltdown.  Throwing himself on the ground and refusing to walk, is just one of the lovely behaviors.  Gotta love summer vacation!

Let’s see, it was about a month ago when I lost Zane at the mall.  I was just there to exchange a couple of his birthday gifts.  I litterally glanced down to read a price tag, and when I looked back up, Zane was gone.  I was in the middle of a department store and Zane is shorter than all the clothing racks, so I had no idea which way he had gone.  I frantically called his name knowing that he wouldn’t verbally respond but hoping he would come back to me.  He’s been running off a lot more these past few months.  Anyway, I could feel the panic setting in and the tears welling up.  I had the baby in the stroller and Kalliope too, so I could only look but so fast and I knew the more time I spent looking in the wrong places, the further he was getting away from me.  I was in a little run down mall in a small town and frankly, they didn’t have a missing child protocol other than to call security.  Most malls now go into complete lock down the second a child goes missing.  As I ran around, I kept thinking of all the automatic doors that Zane could just walk right out of and into traffic.  After about 20 agonizing minutes, I finally I found him at the other end of the mall circling the gumball machines.  My relief of finding him was short lived.  The minute I grabbed his hand he threw the mother of all tantrums!  Everyone stared and I ended up just leaving the mall in complete tears.

Yesterday we had a playdate at a local park here after Zane’s open house.  Jason was working, so it was just me and the kids.  I had gone in prepared for the worst (or so I thought) and was prepared to have to leave at any moment.  Since it was late in the day, there were only a handful of other kids.  A father and his son, I would guess around 9 years old, were reading and having sandwiches in the pavillion.  Zane was good running around and playing until he happened upon this man and son.  I was with the baby, but watching Zane like a hawk.  I saw Zane run up and grab a bite of the boy’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and then I was on the run.  It’s a big park and it was like I was running in slow motion.  The man had taken the sandwich from him and Zane proceeded to absolutely freak.  Screaming, stomping, punching himself, etc.  The man literally grabbed his stuff and ran about 20 feet from Zane and just stood there and stared at him looking completely horrified.  I finally got there (yes, I will be returning to the gym once school starts!) and apologized profusely.  I decided it was time to go and after another big tantrum and some bribery, we left.  I was okay with the events that transpired until I talked with my husband.  I just broke down.  I could tell he was ticked about the man, but I wasn’t.  Heartbroken.  That’s the exact word.  All I could see is the man staring at Zane with such fear it his eyes.  I couldn’t blame him, he didn’t know why Zane was acting that way.  Sometimes I’m glad that Zane doesn’t notice other people’s reactions to him, and this was one of those times.

I really don’t have a point to these stories.  I guess sharing just helps me to process everything and remember to be patient with other people.  Having Zane is a constant adjustment for me, and I live with him day in and day out.  Oh well, tomorrow is a new day.  And school starts on Monday!  Yeah!

BTW, I got one of these for Zane.  So far I’ve only gotten stares, haven’t heard any comments…yet.

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